I love politicians; they're much better liars than lawyers. If I were in the business of selling false promises, politicians would be my employees of choice. They're slick, persuasive and so full of bull.

That is why I'm not voting in the forthcoming Malaysian general election. And that's a pity because when I was younger, I loved the election; it meant getting the toys I'd always wanted from my dad who had been given a pay rise by the ruling government. It meant getting straight A's in public exams. And it meant seeing my favourite Yang Berhormat whom I hadn't seen for the past 4 years. But now, it means lies disguised as hope. Just like the Decepticon I got from my dad when what I really wanted was an Autobot.

Truth be told, I would rather be ruled by a benevolent dictator than have the privilege of voting in a self-serving politician. Of course, there's no such thing as a benevolent dictator just as there's no true democracy; great ideas - democracy, socialism, benevolent dictatorship, electric cars - tend to be blighted by conniving politicians and their white lies. Just like pigeon droppings on grand structures, if you will.

I'm not fond of politicians but I'm glad I could count on them to be perfect purveyors of PhalsePromises™ (available at election campaigns nationwide!).