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Ka-ching!



April 27, 2007, Friday

1/400s | f5.6 | 27mm | Instead of keeping a look-out for Nessie at Loch Ness, my brother suggested that I should look serious for a series of photo-op.

You should have realized by now that this blog is mostly written half in jest. A lot of people don't so you're the smart one. When Little Miss Sunshine didn't win Best Picture, someone actually checked on me and was surprised that I hadn't shot myself.

I'm going to say it once and for all; do not take my words literally; this blog is not the bible of my abilities (they're likely to be exaggerated), things I would do or have done (they're likely to include imaginary wild escapades with Alexis Bledel) and it's certainly not an authoritative glimpse into my life despite the cheesy tagline you see under the logo on the top left. Last time I checked, my official biography is still being written under the working title "Lim Zhi Xin (Zhixin Lim): Great or Greatest King Ever?" (the writers are still unsure about which first/last name treatment to give me).

By saying I write half in jest would mean that half of the time I'm actually being serious. So how do you tell the difference? It's easy; get to know me as a person through these excerpts from Facts About Zhixin Lim (book available in stores soon!) and know what I would or would not write half in jest:

  • Fact #1: Zhixin is perhaps the least-likely person to be called a "self-centered bastard".
    I'm like Pluto; I revolve around the sun and I'm not even a planet. So, this and this are classic written-half-in-jest articles.
  • Fact #2: Zhixin hardly gets attached to things.
    I gushed over my iPod as an attempt to have the ladies believed that I have nary a problem with commitment.
  • Fact #3: Zhixin is not an addict.
    The confession about being addicted to raisins is a clever metaphor to smoking addiction.
  • Fact #4: Zhixin doesn't hate fat people; he just doesn't like them that way.
    Here's a shout-out to I'm-Fat-And-Loving-It: you can stop sending me those hate mails now... we all know that there's only a fine line between love and hate; don't set yourself up for what's not possible; I don't want to break that cholesterol-ridden heart of yours.
  • Fact #5: Zhixin is not mean; he just likes being funny even when no one's laughing.
    It has always been a dream of mine to be a stand-up. I can't do it on stage yet so I might as well hone my fat jokes on screen. So, a serious post would be one that garners no chuckle from you.
  • I shall leave you with this last fact (it's not in the book so it's exclusively for you, my blog reader): Zhixin doesn't take himself seriously. And neither should you. Only then can he quietly achieve something monumental like becoming Ruler of Earth and Beyond and have you in shock and awe. After which, you might want to have your last half-hearted laugh for before long, it would be a life of eternal servitude under King Zhixin.

    posted at 03:13 AM